Sunday, July 10, 2011

Hit the Road, Fat!

Losing weight, gaining weight, losing weight, gaining weight. Never ending until the final end, I guess! The only way to maintain weight loss?  Death!!! Permanent, irrefutable, with no dieting ever again. I have to keep my sense of humor and some temperance about America's cultural obsession with weight and the "obesity epidemic," and this is one way to do it: reductio ad absurdum.

The reworking of lyrics to Ray Charles' "Hit the Road, Jack," represents my anger and my struggles through 12 yo-yoing bouts (and many 10-20 pound fail safes in between these 12). If this seems rather silly to you, then YOU WERE NEVER FAT. Bravo! Nor did you ever suffer the indignity of self-loathing after gaining lost weight back. Bottom line, though, all who gain weight and feel uncomfortable with it at one point or another want the yellow, subcutaneous, oily, adipose to "Hit the Road, Jack." And to that extent, fat (fat cells) are a very real entity to be dealt with.

                                                    Hit the Road, Fat

(You say) Hit the road, fat. And don't ya come back no more, no more, no more, no more,
Hit the road, fat. And don't ya come back no more.

(Fat says)  What you say?

Hit the road, fat. And don't ya come back no more, no more, no more, no more,
Hit the road, fat. And don't ya come back no more.

(Fat says) Oh Nutra Systems, to make me be lean
I'm starving cause your food tastes rotten and mean.
And if you wanna know?
Off your diet I'm gonna go! That's Right!

(You say) Hit the road, fat! And don't ya come back no more, no more, no more, no more,
Hit the road, fat! And don't ya come back no more.

(Fat says) What you say?

(You say) Hit the road, fat! And don't ya come back no more, no more, no more, no more,
Hit the road, fat! And don't ya come back no more.

(Fat says)  Now Jenny Craig don't restrict me this way,
My love for McDonald's is here to stay.

(You say) So you want your Doritos and French Fries, too?
Just made up my mind what to do with you!

(Fat says) So you think everything you know?
Off every diet I'm gonna go. That's Right!

(You say) Hit the road, fat! And don't ya come back no more, no more, no more, no more,
Hit the road, fat! And don't ya come back no more.

(Fat says) What you say?

(You say) Hit the road, fat! And don't ya come back no more, no more, no more, no more
Hi the road, fat! And don't ya come back no more.

(Fat says) You must be jokin'!

(You say) Don't ya come back no more.

(Fat says) That's what you think!

(You say)  Don't ya come back no more.

(Fat says) I'm crying and begging.

(You say)  Don't ya come back no more.

(Fat says)  I'm pleading and needing.

(You say) Don't ya come back for more.

(Fat says) You know you need me.

(You say) Comin' back, comin' back for more.

(Fat says)  You're off your diet.

(You say) Comin' back, comin' back for more.

(Fat says) You need to feed me.

(You say) Comin' back, comin' back for more.


And just like in the song, if you get the undertones, "Jack" and "Fat" DO NOT, HIT THE ROAD!
(click above link)

1 comment:

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