Disabled by Obesity

I have a few friends who are morbidly obese. Having experienced the garden variety of obesity going through 60 pound weight fluctuations and trying to diet,  I reached 240 pounds. At 5'5.6" my BMI was listed on Table 2. That table was for the morbidly obese. My BMI was around 40. For my height, a normal BMI should be between 19-24. I was so out of control, but I couldn't get out from under the emotional, psychological and physical suffocation of my overeating. I loved to eat. And eat I did!

So I understand what the obese are going through up to a point. Fortunately, I never experienced the physical disabilities my two friends experienced a good part of their lives, finding it difficult to walk or move. I remained active, though I was easily winded climbing 3 flights of stairs. I played tennis, but it was Doubles and I let others run the ball down, happy to cover half a court. My knees did ache. I had to take two Advils before and after I played. I had reflux when I overate and would wake up having aspirated food into my lungs. I had asthma. I also had yearly colds which developed into bronchitis as well as sinus infections. Still, I overate.

I was addicted to gluten products like scones, pastries, pasta and especially breads.

Weight Watchers didn't work for me. I used my own weight loss plan; no pills, nada.

To what extent were these illnesses attributable to my obesity? I believe to a great extent because when I lost 120 pounds during a period of two years and changed my lifestyle to include eating only live, organic produce and dairy, and fruits and vegetables with little meat, chicken and fish, I never had a cold, asthma or bronchitis again. Did I mention that I discovered I had a gluten sensitivity?  During the course of the second year of weight loss, I jettisoned all bread, flour products, pastries, potatoes, grains (especially the genetically tweaked whole grains and wheat products). I eliminated eating processed foods in cans and packages that had additives, chemicals, coloring and dyes. I only ate foods that were recently alive and were not genetically enhanced or adulterated, to the best of my knowledge. (We are learning to what extent the industrial food complex keeps us in the dark about GMO produce, grains, etc.)

With my normal weight, 20-21 BMI, I can climb 5 flights of stairs without breathing heavily. I have won three tennis leagues in first and second place and I continue to enjoy great health and happiness. How are my friends?

 
My friends are still obese even though two had lap band surgery. One lost about 60 pounds and the other close to 90 pounds, but they have gained and lost the same 10-30 pounds after the initial weight loss because they have learned to accommodate their lap bands; they graze during the day, eating foods that they can get down easily with the lap band. My morbidly obese friend has had hip replacement and now has to have knee replacement. My friend used a golf cart to get around because her hip had disintegrated from a combination of weight and arthritis. After the hip replacement she was better, but now her knees and back are going. Unless they can arrest their obesity they will most likely have to use handicapped motorized devices to get around indefinitely. They may even have to outfit a new accessible vehicle to accommodate their condition, especially if it becomes very painful or impossible to get in and out of a car. Many find such vans the only way to negotiate debilities safely, especially if individuals are not in large urban areas that have accommodating wheelchair buses or community accessibility conveyances.  My friends are with it baby boomers and are not incapacitated. Handicapped accessible vehicles will provide hope for them to stay mobile and connected to friends and community in the next decade if they are unable to alter their current lifestyle path.

An obese man with dangerous weight around his middle.

My fear for both is the known complications that can arise from obesity like Type II diabetes, arthritis, high blood pressure, heart ailments (my friend needed a pacemaker at 61) and cancer. One high school classmate who had been morbidly obese and was walking with a cane when I last saw her had cancer and died. She was in her 50s. The downward cycle can happen quickly if one is relegated to a wheel chair after a limb amputation and one continues to overeat.

A patient being treated for morbid obesity; a view of the foot and leg.

Obesity is a disability in every aspect of one's persona (physically, emotionally, psychologically) and chronic overeating is not easily abated, especially in our culture where cheap available, convenient foods encourage weight gain because of their excessive amounts of fat, sugar and salt. Recently, I was interviewed by Raghavendra Purohit creator of the blog about healthy eating choices. I gave 5  interviews about (CLICK HERE FOR THE INTERVIEWS) healthy food selection, weight loss and obesity. In the third segment of the 5 part interview, I discussed how I had lost the weight and kept it off. CLICK HERE FOR THE INTERVIEW. My only hope for those who are obese and morbidly obese like my friends is that they can change their lifestyles and eating habits. It worked for me. But everyone must find his or her own pace then make their own decisions about their lives. Everyone's body and life path is different.

Technorati Blog:   YK5KRGC5QX37

17-year-old Rehtaeh Parsons, Another Victim of Online Bullying, Kills Self After Rape Photo Goes Viral!

This is Rehtaeh Parsons' Facebook page. On it you will find petitions to sign to reopen the case.

Here's the "Fat and the Skinny" on another needless and tragic suicide because of online bullying.

Social media is as good as its users. If the users are ignorant bullies, then it can be used to torment the ridiculed and harassed victims (like Amanda Tood) to suicide or someone like Rehtaeh Parsons. Rehtaeh Parsons was a 17-year-old teen from Nova Scotia, Canada. She is the latest teen to fall prey to bullying on social media. Maybe social media will prompt her justice and vindication.

Last Thursday Rehtaeh Parsons hanged herself in her bathroom. On Sunday April 7, her family took her off life support. Leah Parsons recounts the incident on a Facebook page set up in memoriam for her daughter. On November 11, Rehtaeh went with a friend to a home. During the course of the time she was there, she was raped by four young boys. One of the gang took a photo of the rape and "decided it would be fun to distribute the photo to everyone in Rehtaeh's school and community where it quickly went viral."

The photo and the boys' "slut story" spread through the Cole Harbour District High School. Rehtaeh was bullied on social media by classmates. Though her parents moved her from that district to Halifax to start over because of the online harassment, there was something else. Nothing was being done to hold the boys accountable in an investigation that took a year.

According to an article in The Chronicle Herald the police didn't interview the boys until much later. Regarding the photo or photos take during the rape, "nothing was done about that because they couldn't prove who had pressed the photo button on the phone," said Leah Parsons who was told it wasn't... "a criminal issue, it’s more of a community issue.”

In a further twist the hackivist group Anonymous has said that they have discovered the names of the boys who allegedly raped Rehtaeh. In a press release on 4/11 the group is asking that the RCMP reopen the case and the justice department launch an inquiry into the initial investigation.

According to Anonymous, "Dozens of e-mails were sent to us by kids and adults alike, most of whom had personal relationships with the rapists. Many recalled confessions made by these boys blatantly in public where they detailed the rape of an inebriated 15-year-old girl.”

The Angel Rehtaeh Facebook page has petitions and updates as do other online petition sites. Where it was used to push Rehtaeh to her death, maybe social media will prompt her justice and vindication.

PETITION:  CLICK HERE

The Fat and the Skinny on Healthy Living, Obesity, Supplements and Agribusiness: Five Part Interview

These are organic herbs like rosemary, lemon thyme and others that are grown at Stone Barnes Agricultural Center in Pocantico Hills in Westchester. The farm is a non profit and it boasts organic produce and free range poultry and eggs.

 Thanks to Google, word gets out, especially when it's about maintaining a healthy lifestyle. Recently, I posted some tips about how the disabled can stay healthy and it was noted by Raghavendra Purohit, author of the book Healthy Choices-Smart Choices for Healthy Living and blogger of the site, Healthy Choices. Together we completed a five part interview about subjects close to my heart and close to the hearts of millions around the globe as corporations promote products and lifestyles that are unhealthy, environmentally unsound and generally counter to human wellness. The interview links are listed below or click HERE.

Can you guess how many calories would be in this much meat and cheese? No carbs, though, no buns.

 In the US we are enthralled by the corporate tidal wave of fast food, processed food and fast food restaurants that have ensnared us in unhealthy lifestyles and a less than perfect appearance. Yet, paradoxically, paragon images of skinny and buff female and male beauty have bludgeoned us into hating our ugliness, overweight and unsightly aging bodies. Daily we are reminded of our shameless appearance and need for cosmetic enhancement in pervasive media marketing.  It has escalated to the point that there isn't a woman in this country who hasn't been concerned about  aging appearance and weight; there isn't a teen or tween who doesn't look in the mirror and fear becoming fat or who just doesn't look in the mirror because he or she KNOWS THEY ARE TOO FAT to fit in with the cultural ethos of beauty and buff fitness.

An anorexic teen afraid of the fats.

Taken from the Georgia obesity campaign of a few years ago. A tween unhappy with her weight.

In the last four decades, our anxiety about weight has multiplied exponentially as we have gotten fatter. Much of our stress has been fueled by corporate motivation for profits. The trillion dollar weight loss industry, medical industrial complex and fashion and entertainment industry have been gleefully rubbing our noses in our physical deficiencies via marketing and the media. To salve our tensions against the humiliation of being fat, ugly and unworthy, the food industrial complex captivates us with the immediacy and convenience of comfort foods (think about the consequences later). Of course, the chips, chocolate bars, nuts, breads, pastries, donuts, burgers and fries taste fabulous loaded with excessive amounts of salt, sugar and or butter/oil/fat. Food scientists have made them irresistible so we go back for more, remembering the luscious tastes. The highly caloric and dangerous elements and the accumulation of additives, chemicals, etc. of these toxic foods create havoc with our bodies. How? They foster an acidic environment that is ripe for disease. They insinuate an emotional dependence weakening our will, self-respect and self-discipline. Inevitably, our futile attempts to relieve and palliate our stress with such consolation treats propel us into the savior arms of doctors, nutritionists and weight loss gurus.
     Have you weighed yourself recently? When I feel weight gain, I avoid the scale. Too much reality.
      

The impact of genetically engineered crops is unknown, but it could explain the reports of huge increases in allergies, wheat sensitivities in addition to celiac disease, weight gain and altering our hormones. No long range studies have been done to assess any of this. Meanwhile millions have been spent on lobbyists to prevent labeling of GM products. Why?

The cycle begins all over again and escalates with Yo-yo dieting, useless gym memberships,wasted exercise equipment, surgeries, lap bands, etc. It is a lose-lose lifestyle and we feel ashamed, spineless, funked out. The emotional strain over our health failures often leaches into our personal and familial relationships. Our life is a misery that must be escaped once more with food, alcohol and prescription or over-the-counter drugs. The cycle escalates; weight is lost and gained again and again, diseases worsen and become entrenched. The meds' side effects tax our immune systems and our bodies are on chemical, toxic overload. Those who prey off our physical and emotional breakdowns, the locust and canker worm corporates, gurus, "doctors," druggists, fashionistas, etc., become engorged with our blood profits.
  

 I am reminded of the words to "All Along the Watchtower" by Bob Dylan.

"There must be some way out of here," said the joker to the thief,
"There's too much confusion, I can't get no relief." 

This was in Capri in 2006. I weighed 190. Then I gained it back by 2008 and weighed 220, a chronic yo-yo.

This was taken in Florida. My BMI is 21 at 5'5.6"

 As a watchperson with years of experience battling my own weight issues and the industries that promulgated them with my acceptance and participation, let me offer some wisdom. My tips can be found at these links.

Interview # 1  Advice from a Successful Weight Watcher 

Interview # 2   A Strong Case for Encouraging Alternative Health Options

Interview # 3   Permanent Weight Loss/ Health With Weight Maintenance

Interview # 4    Avoid Food Cravings, Prevent Disease, Extend Your Lifeprint


Interview # 5    Dissolve Overeating and Obesity! Stop the Yo-Yo Cycle


CAVEAT:  SUPER WORD OF WISDOM. 

Weigh yourself weekly or daily, whichever works best, once you have lost your weight and achieved your target goal. BEWARE FAT ATTACKS! Click here to read about MINE.

This was in the midst of a full blown FAT ATTACK I am still trying to overcome. BMI 21. (I was down to 19).

Disabled? How to Maintain a Healthy Lifestyle.

One of the problems with negotiating a disability, especially if one has impaired use of one's limbs is maintaining a healthy lifestyle which will promote well being not only physically but emotionally and psychologically. Foods often play an enormous part in how we feel. What we put in our mouths continually impacts our physical and emotional condition as we progress on the road of life over time. The amount of sleep we receive each night also influences our physical and psychological well being. Sleep and eating habits are tied together and both relate to promoting or distorting our health and wellness.

Less sleep, greater weight gain.

The New York Times and other sources have reported that individuals who receive only 4-5 hours of sleep a night are more prone to weight gain.  In a recent study by the University of Colorado, sleep researchers recruited 16 healthy men and women for a two-week experiment tracking sleep, metabolism and eating habits, closely controlling and monitoring the participants' food consumed and strict sleep schedules. The results showed a relationship between weight gain and loss of sleep.

Staying up late because you can't sleep throws off sleep patterns and creates stress on the body. Natural ways to get to sleep should be used, not medications which can further upset one's metabolism and compromise one's immune system with side effects.

A restful night's sleep of at least 7 hours or more can allow the immune system to regenerate and allow the kidneys to deal with the toxins in the body that have accumulated during the day. This is when cleaner, healthier foods can make it easier for the kidneys and liver to get rid of any other toxins that have built up in the system (from the air, metals, etc.)

Kenneth Wright is the director of the university’s sleep and chronobiology laboratory. He noted that the changes that occurred in the participants were behavioral and that staying up late and losing sleep resulted in more eating and a shift in the type of foods consumed.  “We found that when people weren’t getting enough sleep, they overate carbohydrates,” he said. "They ate a smaller breakfast and they ate a lot more after dinner.”

Sugary drinks are deceptive. One or two pack on a tremendous amount of sugar (carbs that turn to fat). In the summer, it is conceivable one can drink 4 or 5 cans during the day to slake one's thirst.

Candy after dinner is a snack item enjoyed late at night to one's detriment.

Researchers found that those who were sleep-deprived ended up eating more calories during after-dinner snacking than at any other meal during the day, and they ate 6 percent more calories when they got too little sleep. The interesting finding was that they began eating more healthfully, snacked less and ate fewer carbohydrates and fats when they received more sleep. The science behind this (though not completely understood) was posited that insufficient sleep changed the timing of a person’s internal clock. This seemed to influence the changes in eating habits. “They were awake three hours before their internal nighttime had ended,” said Dr. Wright. “Being awakened during their biological night is probably why they ate smaller breakfasts.”

Lack of sleep negatively impacts cell biology.

In a report of another study by University of Chicago researchers, it was noted that lack of sleep alters the biology of fat cells. In this study last fall, researchers tracked the changes that occurred when participants' sleep was lowered to just 4.5 hours from 8.5 hours of sleep. Participants continued for 4 nights of deprived sleep. Researchers found that their fat cells were less sensitive to insulin, a metabolic change associated with both diabetes and obesity. According to Matthew Brady, an associate professor of medicine at the University of Chicago and senior author on the study, the profound effects of sleep deprivation amongst the subjects were surprising. “Metabolically, lack of sleep aged fat cells about 20 years. These subjects were in their low 20s but it’s as if they were now middle-aged in terms of their response."

This nacho cheese and everything appetizer is filled with calories and probably not the most quality item on the menu. Nor are the fried calamari. Though this is not a fast food restaurant, many of the menu items are high in salt, sugar and fat. One must walk the labyrinth of the menu to choose items moderate in salt, sugar and fat: grilled, broiled or roasted meat or fish and vegetables not deep fried but sauteed. It may be a no brainer, but healthier items are not easy to order when everyone else is chowing down on fried, heavily salted or highly caloric foods.

Obesity is related not only to overeating and snacking late at night, but not getting enough hours of sleep.

Proper amounts of sleep are needed for the body's repair.

My friend, a nurse practitioner with a Masters Degree whom I met in the Ph.D. program at NYU was well informed in alternative medical practice, homeopathy, therapeutic touch healing and nutrition. She said that the right amount of sleep was a necessary imperative as a  mechanism of the body's immune system healing and rehabilitation. She said the kidneys and other organs that removed toxins from the body in the elimination processes worked more efficiently when the body was in its sleep and rest state. When individuals receive less sleep than the immune system requires to repair and heal itself and for the kidneys to remove toxins, the negative impact is cumulative and profound.

Fast food takeout is convenient and easy. It is also unhealthy and high in salt, fat and sugar because the food industry discovered these elements together are addictive, irresistible and leave one hungering for more.

Our culture promotes sleep deprivation & poor eating routines.

With our fast-paced culture, everyone is subject to sleep deprivation and unhealthy eating. Oftentimes, we don't organize quality meals which take time to arrange: there is the planning of meals, preparing of lists and then the shopping. The more elaborate and healthful the meals, oftentimes, the more complicated the trips to various venues which have a better variety of fresh produce, sustainable fish and locally sourced meats and dairy. Processed convenience foods are much easier to negotiate. They are also loaded with preservatives and chemical additives like MSG (a hidden additive taste enhancer which is highly addictive and noxious.) The tendency to compromise home made meals for the convenience of take out because one is getting home late and is too tired to prepare a meal for the family or oneself becomes a standard habit. Chips, muffins, pretzels a burger and fries are everpresent to lure us as convenient substitutes to snatch when we are hungry and pressed for time.

Every once and a while to treat yourself is OK. But regular meals at fast food restaurants because they are convenient are a problem because of the fat, sugar and salt content in the food items. Even the salads in fast food restaurants are high in calories.

We've come to accept convenient meals for the entire family. But the convenience eventually comes with a price. The doctor's bills because of illnesses related to obesity and a weakened immune system will eventually become higher as obesity related diseases are acquired. The body eventually breaks down having to deal with excessive amounts of fats, sugars and salt.

The food industry encourages snacking and poor eating habits.

The food industry knows that convenience rules in a busy life. It has capitalized on this, making sure to load convenience foods, take out and snacks with plenty of sugar, salt and fat to addict us and keep us coming back for more. Coupled with sleep deprivation where individuals indulge in late night snacking on non-quality foods, what evolves is disastrous. It is an unhealthy lifestyle of overeating the wrong foods, becoming addicted to them, aging one's fat cells and lowering their resistance to insulin, thereby increasing the likelihood of diabetes and obesity over time. This cycle that promotes ill health, is a condition that is worrisome for the disabled who above all should be getting plenty of sleep and eating quality healthy food.

Fruit is a great snack. It is filling, sweet and nutritious.

This vegetable dish is low in calories and healthy. The dish in the upper left hand corner, crabmeat and vegetables is also more nutritious than ordering the nacho platter above.

What to do?

1. Get 8 hours of sleep or as close to that as possible, nightly. Your body will love you for it.
2. Avoid processed foods, snacks and take out. If you must have those chips, give yourself a day when you reward yourself, just one day. i.e. 1 bag of chips on Saturday, pizza or a burger once a week, etc.
3. Try to sit down for your meals with family, friends and even by yourself if everyone is out. (You know what to eat that is healthy, right?) If you do the meal preparing, make it an enjoyable pleasure to arrange meal planning and/or shopping as a gift to yourself.
4. Try to avoid all processed convenience foods, meaning anything in a package, box or can.
5. Think positively. You love yourself and want the best for yourself; you are worth it to take time out to prepare home made meals and to get the proper amounts of sleep. It will save on doctor's bills in the long run.
6. For snacks: avoid salted chips for a week. Your taste buds will adjust and you won't crave them. Instead snack on 1-2% nonfat dairy, yogurt and fresh fruit, i.e. mangoes, papaya, strawberries, etc. Icelandic style skyr yogurt is protein rich, filling and healthy.
7. Drink plenty of water and add fresh lemon juice from a live lemon. Add maple syrup (organic B, honey, or agave to sweeten it...or brown sugar.) It dulls your urge to snack and you are probably thirsty, anyway. Oftentimes we confuse hunger with thirst.

Be well and stay healthy. You are vital to family and friends who want you around for as long as possible. You are worth it.

My Hope and Prayer: The Biggest Loser Stops its Dangerous Practices

There are ways to encourage kids to lose weight. Biggest Loser is not one of them; rapid weight loss is dangerous, according to many doctors and critics of the program.

This post was written for Valentine's Day, but it is a post that applies to every day. The values expressed are eternal and timeless. These values should be ones we all embrace, especially if we believe in putting people before money and profits and decry exploiting others' weaknesses and putting them on display so we can feel "better" about ourselves. This should be anathema, especially when children and teens are involved.

 In this post I am sharing my hope and my love with my fellow Americans, the overweight, the obese and those at the opposite side of the spectrum, the underweight and anorexic. If you are a normal BMI? I'm sharing my love with you too, because most likely you are afraid of gaining weight and have attempted to lose weight or diet at some point in your life. In many ways we have all be encouraged to become ED (eating disordered) because the standards of normalcy are ridiculous. And they change depending upon the culture and professions or businesses of the individuals judging you. Regardless, though, you are judged on your appearance and unless you are the freaky Barbie Hollywood type, Victoria Secret Model, 24-year-old type, chances are you've judged yourself and found yourself wanting when you look in the mirror. And even the apparently "beautiful" find flaws when they see themselves in the mirror. So all of us judged and Eating Disordered at one point in time or another need some love and well wishes. Happy Valentine's Day.

This image has been photoshopped. The story went viral because of the controversy whether this Barbie look alike was real or not.

Eating disorders run the gamut from young to old and from very obese to anorexic bone thin, males included. I consider myself an expert being obese for decades, having yo-yo dieted too many times to accurately count. Being too fat or too thin in our culture, too ugly, old, too flabby, not manly, too short, etc., creates havoc with our emotions and personalities. Much of this EWWW of appearance flaws has been fostered upon us by mass media starting with middle class fashion trends before the turn of the century. Our "consumer" culture created by advertisers, et. al., profits on creating needs, promoting fears and insecurities then providing answers. You need to kill your bad breath? There's a ton of products for that. Meanwhile, is bad breath so terrible? Advertisers make it so, as they and the entertainment industry and weight loss industry and pharmaceutical industry and medical devices industry, have made overweight and obesity traumatic and ugly and kept anorexia secret, unless media attention rivets on it because a celebrity's drug habit or too thin arms or bouts of bulimia have slipped out into the public forum or someone has killed herself because of it, i.e. Margot Hemingway, Karen Carpenter.

Christina Ricci admitted to battling an eating disorder.

 So we suffer every time we put a bite in our mouths, thinking about the calories or sweat it will take to pull out fat that could accumulate. We suffer if we look at the mirror and see drooping rolls of fat or creases or cellulite dimples. We are in pain when someone brags about how much weight they lost. We are humiliated if we shop with a friend and they grab a smaller sized dress or size 2 jeans. We cringe if our child is bullied because he or she is overweight and we often make it worse by trying to get them to diet or bring them to a doctor for a weight loss program or take them to fat camp. And if a child is very thin? We may "thank our lucky stars," until we realize they may be anorexic. Anorexia is even worse because anorexics commit suicide, anorexics die of starvation, are costly to rehabilitate, are secretive like the obese. The obese and overweight and anorexic are psychologically and emotionally starved. The overweight feed to feel better; the anorexic starves to feel better. Both are hard pressed to feel love and acceptance from anyone.

This woman is proud of her body. She believes she is beautiful. The culture has reinforced the image of emaciation and bones sticking out as superior, righteous, cool and elite. What do you think about this? If you hate it, you are probably not in the upper classes who believe you can't be too rich or too thin.

In this painting by Peter Paul Rubens, heavy women were beautiful because they had enough food to eat. Skinny women were considered ugly. Oh My! How things have changed. Date: 1615, Venus at a Mirror.  Venus is the goddess of love.

Underneath the picture of this woman, some men commented how beautiful her body was. They loved looking at the hip bones...sexy. Emaciation is beautiful for the media culture. Bones are IN!  What do you think?

Anorexics and the overweight and obese are alone, so very alone. So are the so-called normal folks, or the elite gorgeous women who one day will grow old and ugly, regardless of all the botox and plastic surgery and other enhancers. We are all alone. We have to deal with ourselves. What if it's a problem? Wow! What a wonderful environment for emotional predators to revel in and exploit. Hello industrial complexes: medical, fashion, entertainment, weight loss, food, pharmaceutical, all looking to supply us with "help" to solve our problems and sate our aloneness.  Like they can really help? For bad breath, drink water and brush your tongue. It's more effective anyway. I rest my case with the analogy.

It used to be that women tolerated heavy men. This trend is changing, especially if the women have money and are from the upper middle class. Attitudes about weight are definitely classist. Fat is perceived to be correlated to poverty.

We need a moratorium declared against the "culture of judging appearances." We need a ban on the necessity of accepting the thin figure as beautiful in all media everywhere. When I say a ban and a moratorium, I mean a one year period or more where skinny women appear no where on TV or in magazines, but are replaced by natural looking women of all ages and all sizes. Most of all THE OBESE! Where are the female anchors that are obese...Why do I have to see VOYEURISTIC E-MAILS OF ratty looking, slovenly appearing obese always shopping at Walmart? Why is obese associated with slovenly and raggedy? That discrimination has to stop. Thin people shop at Walmart also! And very attractive looking obese people.

Back to the ban and moratorium! If advertisers and show producers and weight loss industry profiteers and fashion industry profiteers and models and the entertainment industry promoters etc., do not replace the skinnies with average looking and natural looking women who appear heavier? We need to boycott watching the shows that refuse to make changes. Why are we watching them anyway. They need us. We don't need them to live. They are dependent on us watching for their advertising revenue or for their cable subscriptions. We don't travel in the same circles as the media elite. They don't accept us or like us; there are so few of us on TV or in movies, and if our representatives are there, they are usually the bottom of the bottom, the proles, the disgusting people. Why do we pander to to entertainment industry producers et. al., when they think us ugly and force us to watch the beautiful people? Such "beauties" are often sick, twisted completely stressed out and messed up psychologically, emotionally and mentally. Why do I have to buy into what they are, find it acceptable and beautiful? Am I crazy? They are crazy and I refuse to buy into this sickness.  I am officially boycotting TV programming, main channels and cable. It is a vast waste land and I have better things to do.

Photoshopped image of Pamela Anderson...can you tell which one is photoshopped? You have some help with the arrow.

Can you image if you turned off TV? If you didn't buy magazines? If you didn't read books that pandered to these skinny images or heroines of beauty and ripped heroes of masculinity? What would happen if  we all stopped buying fad diet plans that don't work and gym equipment that piles up in OUR basement unused and gym memberships that we used once or twice and then gave up?  Think about it. We would save lots of money they (the industrial complexes fueling all of this) would lose.

How would we get our news? ONLINE! We select what we want. If it smacks of the egregious skinny, wannabe images that are uber dangerous? We select something else. If the programs encourage us with fear and devastation to lose weight in an unhealthy way? We move on to something that is healthier. We also do not pander to those who pander to such wannabe skinny elite images. We do know the difference, do we not? We do know who buys into the lies and who is real, do we not?

Demi Moore, photoshopped image; soooo perfect.

 Can you imagine if NO ONE IS WATCHING BECAUSE WE ARE BOYCOTTING PROGRAMS THAT REPRESENT NOXIOUS CONCEPTS ABOUT IMAGE AND APPEARANCE AND THEY KNOW WHY WE ARE BOYCOTTING THEM?  IF NO ONE IS WATCHING, HOW CAN THEY FUNCTION? How can they make profits or earn revenue? They can't. They would have to bend to our will, our wishes, our desires. They could no longer tell us what we want and need. We would tell them what we demand and if they don't give us natural looking people of all ages on media programs, in magazines, in movies, then we won't watch them or patronize the product. We are the watchers. Not them. They have told us what we want for too long and we are sick of it. Enough is enough.

Demi Moore, not so perfect.

 We are the ones who are important. We don't have to give audience to their sickness, their fear, their greed for profits, putting money above people, their arrogance, their elitism, their unreal beauty standards, their lies, their brainwashing, and their rejection of us for decades, the rejection of the little people. Well, WE REJECT THEM AND THE STANDARDS THEY'VE SHOVED DOWN OUR THROATS, STANDARDS WHICH ARE UNREAL.

These teenage girls fought Seventeen Magazine's use of photoshopped images with an online petition on Change.org. They won a pledge from the magazine to use natural images of teen girls. Did they keep their word?

But I can't do without my programs, you say? Sure you can. Find something else...take up an active hobby or sport that might be fun, involving others. Surf the web and go to sites that will uplift you, not ones that reinforce feelings of false envy or superiority. (You know the "EWWW those people are worse than me" reality shows which are so unreal and edited that it hurts.) We need to say, enough is enough. I am better than that. I will not buy into all this fake, unnatural TV content they are showing me and selling me. Enough with the unreal images.

I have the perfect place to begin. The Biggest Loser. I have never watched the show because I know it is a fraud, it is unhealthy, it promotes dangerous weight loss, not slow, slow measured weight loss which is more likely to be sustained and kept off. How have the producers gotten away with it for so long? Secrecy. Well, a whistleblower has come forward. You can read her testimony here. Kai Hibbard was a contestant and finalist and she has come forward to tell you the truth about The Biggest Loser.

Did you know that the producers of the Biggest Loser, in their hunt for more profit have "raised the bar?" It isn't enough to brainwash adults to lose weight in an egregious unhealthy manner, but now they are pushing their dangerous weight loss on kids? No comfort and encouragement and security for these kids. Instead, we get to gawk at these subhuman fatso kids (what is being subliminally promoted) tormented, shamed and bullied into weight loss by "weight loss experts!" Pleeeeaase.

 Well, I for one am boycotting The Biggest Loser especially the programs which include the kids. I don't support their noxious, ineffective (for maintenance) weight loss program. I have my own which works (kept 120 pounds off for 2 1/2 years). I don't support how they are tormenting kids to lose weight when the complexity of the kids' overweight is something far beyond what these inexpert experts have gauged. For example, the kids' eating patterns may have been caused by many variables, including terrible food allergies which neither parents nor kids know about and which can come back once they are off the show and resuming some of the old eating habits.  I don't support that fat is ugly. I don't support that fat and obesity is disgusting. I don't support that being fat makes one inferior and dumb and able to be easily victimized. I don't support that being fat gives others the right to ridicule them with voyeuristic fervor. I don't support the parents who have allowed their kids to be on this show. I don't support that everyone has to be thin and ripped. It is up to the person and if one intends to lose weight, one should not go into the process lightly. Yo-yoing is much worse. For those reasons I am boycotting The Biggest Loser and boycotting TV AND CABLE.  LET THE NORMALCY OF IMAGES BEGIN.

And so should you!  If you are not able to wean yourself off of some of the programs or concepts, at least think about it and ask yourself why you are drawn to the stuff that self-hate is made of. Maybe this post will help! 


Secondly, if you would like to do something of good use, then take a look at this petition and sign it. It's boycotting The Biggest Loser. That's a beginning.

Read the comments by people who have watched the show and find it fraudulent and unhealthy.


May God bless you and help you to feel loved and secure, regardless of your appearance, your bank account, your heritage.

  

How I Defied my Own Weight Loss Tips and Gained Weight AFTER Christmas Eve

Before Christmas in front of The Plaza, NYC

 Congratulate me! I made it through Christmas Eve, BMI, 19, never wavering! (see previous post). In the weeks before December 24th, like a pig rooting for truffles, I blanketed the turf of my emotionally driven appetite, hunting for any morsel that would capsize my will power and send me to the bread basket to slobber down four croissants in two hours. I snouted every emotional weakness and gobbled down my fears and qualms, staying focused on weight maintenance. Glued to my protocol, I fasted. My stomach shrank. My appetite listed to the edge of numbness. I Tyveked (type of insulation) my mind with the goal of balance. I would not overeat and gain 10-20 pounds over the month long holiday season!

At Christmas Eve dinner, hosted by family and friends, I lay siege to my hungers! I pronounced "Death" on the ranch, and bacon chips and nachos and humus, spinach and red pepper dips and shrimp and hot sauce and Brie and crackers, and salted Planters mixed nuts, all of which were signaling to me from the appetizer table. I turned my nose up and sniffed away the pino and cabernet, preferring to sip lemon water. What I ate (vegetables and some meat, no pasta) I chewed like a bander (lap banders chew 30 times before swallowing). I consumed less than half of the food on my carefully apportioned plate. My salad was crisp with dressing on the side that I never touched, not even a fork's kiss. And as for the baguettes and Italian garlic semolina bread? Ha, ha, ha. It staled and hardened in front of me. My consciousness, pumped by prior fasting, the lemon water drink, shrunken stomach and adamintine resolve, handcuffed my niggling fingers from snatching a crumb crust of bread.

Then followed the interregnum, the clearing of dinner plates and wine glasses for the final salute of the Christmas feast, the dolci course. And oh, the abundance in colorful array. The dessert table glittered with allure, a sparking banner of treats which I adored: coconut custard pie and black forest cake and chocolate dipped, jelly filled butter cookies (Oh, yum!) and pecan pie (double yum). It was war. I put on my shield and helmet.

Christmas Eve 2012 before the abyss.

In my imagination, I reconfigured the luscious sweet smells to week old cabbage in a run-down tenement hallway. I calculated the beauteous vision of this extraordinary bounty of treats as serving plates of larded grease. "Unhealthy, death-filled," was my interior mantra. Maybe another time another place, but not this Christmas Eve.  I breathed slowly and deeply and then I went up to serve and top spinned a bored yawn at the pecan pie, slapped down the chocolate dipped cookies and cracked a whip lash blow to my urgent need to pluck two nuts from their crispy, glazed, caramel pie topping and pop them surreptitiously into my mouth before anyone noticed. I settled into the seat of my soul, breathed again and gulped hot hazelnut coffee, shuttering my pig-out romantic holiday notions of banqueting celebrations.

My host and hostess graciously offered leftovers. I declined. No treats would plague and torment me to gobble them down in the quiet of my home. As I opened the door to my leftoverless car, in the secret place at the center of my being, I chortled, "Bahhh hahaha." I don't remember the drive back to New York City, the truckless wide lanes of the L.I.E., the desolate Grand Central Parkway at 1:30 AM or the cozy entrance to my Tudoresque neighborhood of Kew Gardens. Turning into the driveway, I didn't appreciate the flashing song of twinkling blue, red and green lights thronging the balcony rails of my terraced apartment building, always a welcome sight. My ebullience had ballooned me above the clouds of New York City into satisfaction and victory. I was the conqueror of my former, ritualistic, holiday overeating patterns. I went to bed lunatic with joy.

Christmas Day I arose feeling savvy, clever. I had given myself a blessed present. Peace and joy. Where once I would have been sick with acid reflux...regurgitating pasta sauce, shrimps, potato chips, red peppers, mozzarella, pecan pie, 10 chocolate covered cookies, red velvet cake digestive juices mush, my serene throat and stomach purred. Yeah! I beamed in the mirror at my unbloated face. Cloaked in pompous confidence, I showered then styled my hair with pride and self-possession. I looked beautiful. Today would be a modest supper of artisinal cheeses, fruits, baguettes (which I wouldn't eat) accoutrements and wine (lemon water for me) with friends after a film, a partial celebration since the elaborate Chinese dinner (For Jewish friends, the tradition is always a film and Chinese food on Christmas Day because NYC Chinese restaurants are usually open.) would be on December 26th. The upscale restaurant Emily (born in Hong Kong and a gourmand of fine Chinese cuisine) was taking us to was closed on Christmas.

Yum, yum, caramel cake at one of the pastry booths in the mall in front of Food Hall (Todd English) The Plaza, NYC

My weight maintenance was seamless, zinging along with smooth pizazz. It was totally "la de da." Then came the terrorization and robbery. It happened at about the time I was pulling up my GAP size 0 jeans. My radar scrambled. All the warning lights blackened. My defense triggers overheated to melt down. It was a hunger seizure, the worst kind. It wasn't physical...but emotional, psychological. My axis spun outward throwing my balance away from my central space of joy. Jangled and fraught I agonized in a cataclysmic moment of WTF? confusion. I had waltzed through Christmas Eve with appetite impunity. What was this rambling and random pulsation coiling my sanctity of success, squeezing my hopes like a starving python? I turned inward and I saw, THE ABYSS!

Above, the notorious croissants snuggled away in my fridge and these lovely and delicious brioches from you know where.

 My clarity of consciousness and focus dissipated into fog. Resignation's viral flood swallowed my discipline and temperance. Fear, guilt and trauma massed as a delicate whisper of memory surfaced to override all my good intentions. Tucked away in a closet corner of the fridge and snuggled in delicate bakery paper was a flaky, crisp Petrossian croissant. Nestling near it was a stash of two mouth-watering brioches. I clutched my bright orange turtle-neck GAP sweater, threw it over my head and skipped to the kitchen slapping away the whispering croissant and orange brioches from my mind's eye.

Sighing and breathing deeply, a technique that always helped, I drank some water. Maybe I was dehydrated. But the whispers became ferocious catcalls: brioche, croissant, brioche, croissant. I brewed my cappuccino and sorted the vortex of pangs, emotions, cries, gnawings, knockings. The more I sluiced and head butted them away, the more powerfully they swirled back. The rich coffee aroma peaked the atmosphere. The buttery flakes of croissant pastry kindled my imagination in a bonfire passion. The image of orange brioche delectableness seared my tongue with longing. Food hallucinations! This was a full blown starvation blitzkreig...demonic and psychological. I writhed in the throes of pain-screaming hunger urges.

The coffee finished brewing, time for the steamed, nonfat milk. I sidled over to the fridge, opened the door snatched the milk and hesitated, the pause of eternity. Then I bent down to the last tray of the fridge and rooted for the white bag secreted behind the Stone Barnes egg cartons and imported cherry and blueberry jams from Eataly. It was there. I slammed the fridge door and cursed myself. Why had I not thrown out the pastries the day before on my fast? I didn't want them then. I should have ditched them in the trash. I realized, I didn't need to throw them out. I was fasting, I was prepared, I was strong, I was... sabotaged. The undead, that old familiar rapacious hag of obesity emerged from my unconscious to thwart me again with remembrance of these.

"Give me liberty or give me croissants," said Patrick Henry. Not! That's my line. Flour is a problem for me.

 Now, there were two Caroles, the observer and the observed, and I was stumbling and reeling. In the faraway distance I watched myself somersault over the side of my balloon basket dreams and hurtle into the abyss. I crash landed onto the fleshly soil of unconsciousness as the other Carole rose up in bigness. Without compunction and with impunity, she determined, opened the fridge, grasped the bakery bag, tore it open, grasped the tender croissant and bit off its the crusty horn edge. She wished she had purchased three of them. She savored the taste, allowing the dough's buttery flakiness to linger on her tongue, then switched on the toaster oven. Toasted croissants were better than cold ones, though she would have eaten raw dough to fill the void of demonizing pangs. Carole steamed the nonfat milk and added it to the coffee. By the time the cappuccino was made, the croissant was crisp and warm. It was one of the best she had ever eaten.

Real Peking Duck, delicious. 12/26. I tried to fast before New Year's Eve.  

Shared delicious dessert I avoided, except for the raspberries and blueberries. Friends ate the rest.

My unconsciousness lasted for a period of time. I'm not really sure how long. The voracious Carole had her way in a feed of rapturous and malevolent overeating that chained my abstemious self to Lethe* warf. However long, the days dazzled with pastry, muffins, danishes and donuts. I dined with friends devouring delectable Peking Duck (the real Peking Duck) crab, roasted pork loin (three times) from Eataly, luscious rib eye steak at Craft, whipped cream Irish coffees at the Blue Note Jazz Club, more home made pastry treats from Stone Barnes cafe and a savory mushroom and goat cheese quiche from Red Barn Bakery. And much, much more. I would tell you, if I could remember, but I was unconscious.

OMG this pork belly that we all shared was fabulous. I was in oblivion, Craft, 12/31/2012

Emily and I shared the mushrooms; other friends shared carrots. We all had salad, for me, sans dressing. Wow. What a concession considering I had two glasses of pino. Craft 12/31

Emily and I shared the rib eye and marrow. We had to take it home. I think I ate my pieces the next day. By then Lethe Warf was my home and darkness closed over me. The scale was under a pile of magazines and I was in my size 2s.

  Craft, 12/31. Careful 4 days, then went to the dark side. Just before ordering the wine and rib eye.

Thank God, I woke up. Maybe the shock of the fall when I had been so pompously assured of success brought me back to myself. Maybe it was the mental haze and smoke I've come to realize are symptoms of my overeating malaise. Maybe it was the fact that I had not bothered to try on my size 0 jeans, ever since I had elected to wearing the dressier Ralph Loren 2s, a dead giveaway. Why would the other Carole perform an action that would expose her dark devouring ways to the light? No, she must bask in the swamps of shame, reflux overeating,  pigging-out, swaddled in the comfort of guilt, recrimination, accusation, judgment and ridicule. Those terrors would certainly keep her away from trying on pants that she had eaten herself out of.

Once conscious and aware, I became focused and determined. I summoned my courage to face a truthful old friend. I got on the scale. It was January 9th, a Wednesday, 15 days in the void.

TO BE CONTINUED...Find out how much weight I gained and what I am doing about it.

*Lethe-in Greek mythology this was one of three rivers in Hades, the underworld. One drink from this river and you forgot everything. Lethe was also the name of the Greek spirit of forgetfulness and oblivion.


 I'D LOVE TO HEAR FROM YOU. Please share your experiences.

Do you have excellent will power, then cave in to overeating? Share your stories with me on FB or Twitter. Or e-mail me and share how you have tangled with the two halves of yourself. The self who lets you overeat or binge. The other part of you who is abstemious. I will include your anecdotes in a post and keep you anonymous, unless you tell me to share your name.