Wednesday, June 8, 2011

Murphy's Law: Fat/Thin Sophistry

The following excerpt is from a book I am writing about "being fat in America."  Did you know that we have an obesity epidemic from "sea to shining sea," regardless of how much the Fat Acceptance Movement and Paul Campos' The Obesity Myth counter the media pundits? A former obeser and a current supporter of losing weight for health purposes, my attitude shifts depending upon the argument; truly the evidence is not conclusive and as a researcher, I know how statistics can be tweaked to suit the hypothesis that THERE IS AN EPIDEMIC; RUN FOR THE HILLS! But shushhhhh! If the figures don't make sense, it's OK. The trend is against FAT. When Halle Berry becomes a whale, and Jennifer Aniston and Angelina Jolie, and other celebrities are photographed fat...oh why am I even bothering. The chance of that happening is 0, the size that women must fit into these days and most can't. (For young women, the size is a 24 jeans.)

Given the state of nature, two-thirds of the nation at some point in the next month will be watching their carb or caloric intake, or will be dieting or going to the gym to look younger, fitter and be healthier. These include those who are overweight, obese and morbidly obese. (oft quoted statistics). The other third either isn't or refuses to diet, has already achieved a weight goal, or simply is on a guilt-free binge freak-out. It is to the two-thirds struggling to "make weight," that "Fat Sophistry" applies. And for those of you who are thin and you aren't happy with your bodies either, the second section is for you.


When you are fat, the parts of your body that are oversized, are oversized in the worst possible way. 
·       You are disproportionate to the inverse ratio of the clothing designed for your height and  size.
   i.e.  You are petite and you have huge boobs and a mammoth ass.
·        Your body is shaped like a pear that King Kong would eat. 
               i.e.  Only pleated or flair skits fit your hips; you are a mini version of an 
                      Egyptian pyramid.

When you are thin, the parts of your body that you want and need to be fat are non-existent.
·         You have no boobs and are flat like a table top with two pink raisins for nipples.
               i.e.  Padded bras are not an option; you are scheduled for size DD implants.
         You have no ass. Your cheek crease is like a hairline crack in the pavement.
               i.e.  Along with implants above, you are getting implants behind. Viewing yourself                        naked in the mirror, you are tired of  looking  like the alien who landed in
                       Roswell, NM.

Wouldn't it be absolutely wonderful if we were happy with the bodies that God gave us? I doubt
that TV televangelists are happy. They are going for touch ups and age adjustments all the time.

Are you happy with the way you look? If you could, what would you change about your appearance?



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