I am a secret eater. Maybe all obese people (I still consider myself obese because I want to make sure my maintenance holds for at least 5 years...the time of remission. You never know! God forbid something could happen to throw a lemur wrench into my whole system and send me back to WHALE HELL.) eat something alone that they adore. Well, I'm breaking myself of this. I'm sharing one of my most profound and embarrassing foodie secrets as a means of correction. You know expose it to the LIGHT so the dementors don't come to suck my self-esteem anymore. I'm doing this so the addiction will atomize.
For those of you who go out to eat with me to some of the finest, NYC restaurants, including a few Michelin rated, you didn't know, but I practice this foodie behavior somewhat regularly, though it depends on my mood. At some of the restaurants we have gone to, the menu is pre fixe. For readers who aren't sure and it changes according to restaurant, you usually have a choice of three dishes for a set price. For us sometimes if it's a celebratory occasion, we order dessert and share.
Last September, we went to Jean Geoges at the Northern corner of Columbus Circle adjacent to Central Park for a women's night out birthday celebration. The menu has probably changed since then, but like my friends, I ordered my three dishes. This is similar to what I may have ordered from their menu. (Check out the pull down menu for Jean Georges, NYC) First: Sea Scallops, Caramelized Cauliflower, Casper-Raisin Emulsion; Second: Artic Char with Burgundy Truffle Crumbs, Silky and Crispy Parsnip; Third: Black Sea Bass Crusted with Nuts and Seeds, Sweet and Sour Jus. The dishes were sumptuously prepared and marvelously presented. My mouth fills just thinking about the teasing tongue sensations and flavors beautifully melded. I did not finish my fish, and gave it to a friend to take home. (She's into reheating and bringing for lunch the next day; I'm not.) We also ordered dessert and they brought us one of each from selections under these categories: Caramel, Late Harvest, Chocolate and Apple. We shared the dessert and for some of the desserts we cleaned our plates like five year olds. The women sitting around the table with me did not have a weight problem, nor did they ever have a weight problem like I did.
We were pleasantly stuffed. And with warm wishes and goodbyes bestowed, we went to our respective houses and apartments dreamily enthusiastic about the money we had spent. Now it's coming. My secret. After about an hour or so, images of what I have in the freezer for just such an occasion knocked up against my memory. Was I hungry? How could I be after I had eaten all that food and had dessert? But the flash-cravings came anyway, like little gnomes pulling on my clothing every so gently, then tugging harder.
My lust rose in all its contortion. I went to the fridge and took out..... What do you think? That bar of Godiva or Jacques Torres chocolate? Fresh butter cookies from the Bonnelle Bakery? That slice of Chocolate Chip Pie which is soooo fabulous it is not to be believed!!!!! (Tates in South Hampton)? WRONG!
Raw Cashews. Yes. Raw, organic cashews. And I finished the container (one quarter full) and was so annoyed at myself, with my stomach grousing, it took me an hour after watching (was it Rachel Maddow? Charlie Rose? South Park? or Robot Chicken clips on YouTube? I can't remember) of laying in bed before I got to sleep. I mean WTF?
This was not the first time I did this. Will it be the last now that I revealed it here? What is it with down low foodie indulgences. Do I need the nutrients? More like I am somehow addicted to the experience...the taste, the chewing, the crisp coldness. And I don't have to be hungry, that's the point. I'm like a cat hunting wild birds on a full stomach with acid reflux. Needless, unnecessary and narcissistic.
So, I revealed my indulgence and set it free. What's yours?